Every man and his dog seems to have something to say about Hallowe’en this week, so I thought I’d be putting my little ten cents in just to even up the balance a bit!
Okay firsly, I know its shocking, I know its unconstitutional and I know I might get tarred and feathered…but, and here it comes…..wait for it…..DOGS HATE WEARING DRESS UP CLOTHES!!!!!
Those of you who know me well are very used to the sight of me rolling my eyes when I get shown pictures of Fido in a bumble bee costume, Rex in a octopus outfit etc.
 When God designed the dog, He gave him a whole bunch of nice soft fur and beautiful ears, a waggy tail, and he didnt say to the dog…’Okay, so now go find yourself a family who will dress you up to look like a Kit kat once a year!’
I know Im a killjoy, but seriously please think about your dog this hallowe’en and how he feels being pulled and pummelled into a costume. Dogs are free moving, free thinking creatures…Trying to force them into clothes does kind of go against the grain of who they are and were designed to be. Restriction causes discomfort, discomfort causes irritation and we all know what some dogs feel forced to do when they get irritated, dont we?
If you must ‘beclothe’ [to use a Shakespearean term] the poor hound, at least make it simple, loose and noiseless. If he shows the old whale eye [whites of his eyes showing, panicked expression] do him a favour and get it off him pronto!
Irritated and uncomfortable dogs mixing with loads of kids is not a mutually beneficial situation, folks.
Everyone knows that dogs mustnt eat chocolate, but few people think about the dangers of hard candy [small, easy to choke on] sugar free sweets [certain sweeteners are very toxic to dogs] or any candy with food colouring [certain colourings can cause extreme behavioural swings, as can excessive amounts of sugar in some dogs].
You will have a whole bunch of people turning up at your door not looking like human beings at all, wearing masks and costumes and making weird noises. Please remember that Fido doesnt know what a mask is, doesnt understand the concept of a joke that involves scaring the bejesus out of each other, and so he might get scared and snap or worse, bite, in a misguided effort to protect you from this perceived threat. Please see this from his point of view and don’t put him in a position where he can only fail…
Have fun on Hallowe’en, enjoy the occasion and eat as much candy as you can……. Ha, spoken like a true fat chick, huh?
 And, if theres any Twizzlers leftover [NOT the sugar free kind!] send ’em on over to the ranch where I’ll be very glad to help, uh, dispose of them!
 Have a great weekend.